Saturday, December 17, 2005

NFL'S WEEK 15 FANTASY PROGNOSTICATIONS!

WEEK 15 BOYS AND GIRLS!

It's Week 15??? I find it easier to believe in Santa. By the way, I want a Pony, a Rocket-Ship, a Red-Raider B.B Gun, and a date with Alyssa Milano.

AFTER A ROUGH START... ON THE SEASON I AM 138-70.


Tampa Bay at New England: The Pats' are getting healthy at the right time, and the formerly feeble run D has performed like a porn star. Even explosive Chief Larry Johnson was "held" to 116/1... taking a look at some of his other games, the Pats' positively stymied him! QB Tom Brady will miss TE Ben Watson who's out due to injury... but an underappreciated Pat' pass catching corps, coupled with a willin' Corey Dillon, should be enuff'. Further, Bucca'Back Carnell "Cadillac" Williams has concerns about 2-wheel drive limitations. Caddy' can play in the sun, and Caddy' can play in the rain... can Caddy' play in the cold and snow? Even HE has doubts and has expressed as much. Although no snow is expected, the temp is expected to hover around the freezing mark... and here's a meaningful stat' if ever there was one; the Buccs' are just 2-21 when the mercury plummets below 40 degrees. Look for a typical Tom Terrific day (225/2-3), and Dillon (90+/2) will relish the chillin' temps. Assuming he's able to play 4, Corey will wear Tampa down with each successive run. And, towards the mid-3rd to 4th Q'... expect a lot of half-hearted arm tackles from the Buccaneer defenders.

Kansas City at N.Y. Giants: There are 3 factors that will go into a BIG Chief win. The Giant O-line suffered injuries to BOTH starting Tackles, Luke Petigout and Kareem McKenzie. Next, the young Mann' has been regressing a bit, prone to forcing passes and have them sail on him. The Chief run D has improved demonstrably and the Secondary has played MUCH better of late as well. Lastly, the loss of G-Man 'backer Antonio Pierce bodes VERY poorly. TE Tony Gonzalez AND RB Larry Johnson could run amok today. If the Giants are to win, it'll be because RB Tiki Barber rises to the occassion along with some ultra-grittiy play from DEs Osi Umenyiora and Mike Strahan. Further, LB fill-in Nick Griesen MUST make "Big Blue" think... Antonio who?" Chief RB Larry Johnson's a beast, look for a multi-TD day, Gonzo should bank a TD as well.

Denver at Buffalo: Although "Marine" Mike Anderson has been slowing down and QB Jake Plummer has taken some small steps backwards, RBs Tatum "Chips" Bell and Ron "Big Game" Dayne will pound the run-poor Bill D. Bill back Willis McGahee has forgotten what the end-Zone looks like... he hasn't been there since Week 6, his last 100 yard game came Week 8! The only way the Broncs' lose this game is if they take their foes too lightly... and I do NOT expect that to happen. The best Bill start might well be vertical threat Lee Evans. As top cover corner Champ Bailey will be shadowing Eric Moulds... Evans has a shot at a decie' fantasy game. Still, look for Bronco honcho Mike Shanahan to control the clock with a dominating run game, and allow Plummer to pass only when pressed. In a low scoring game, the Broncs' bank a needed W.

Arizona at Houston: Here again, I am so inclined to pick the Texans to win. Actually, my heart says Texans win... but logic dictates that Warner's Cardinal clan wins. Should 'Zona lose to the hapless Houston squad? That WOULD be a "Cardinal sin!" Look for "KW" to toss another 300+, WRs Anquan Boldin and Larry Fitzgerald are each good for 100+ receiving yards. If this Card' team could simply muster the THREAT of a rushing attack... they'd be dangerous. The fact of the matter is, though, Houston's just terible defensively and even if the DO score first... no lead is a safe lead. Look for big diggies' from RB Domanick Davis and solid numbers from WR Andre' Johnson... but it won't matter. Now that evil Raider leader Al Davis allowed the Jets to win by playing a High School quality QB last week, Houston WILL draft the versatile and star-bound USC back Reggie Bush. Doub' D could be dealt... or worse, serve as a mentor for a year.

Carolina at New Orleans: If New Awlins' was trotting out veteran Signal Caller Aaron Brooks... this would be a more difficult decision. Can YOU think of a reason they're going with a strong-armed but lifetime backup in Todd Bouman? Me neither. Joe Horn was SO distraught... he reverted to discussing himself in the 3rd person again... when Joe Horn talks about "Joe Horn," you KNOW things are bad for the 'Aints. Look for RB DeShaun Foster to make a "statement" game; "I AM next year's feature back" he'll, umm, say. The Saints allow almost 140 rushing yards per game... So Foster, a versatile back, should be good for 125 combined yards and a TD. Likewise, look for yet another Delhomme to Smith connection. Those two can communicate with a glance. Spooky, huh? 'Lina wins by less than a TD.

N.Y. Jets at Miami: Laugh if you want, but look for Miami to obliterate "Germ's" Gang-Greenous. The Jets... umm, suck. They can stop neither the run nor pass, and WR Chris Chambers WILL again hang gaudy digits. RB Ricky Williams and Ronnie Brown are both solid starts against a team that gave up a long, LONG time ago. Ironically, winning last week's game against Oakland could come back to haunt the Jets. With that win... their shot at USC / NFL stud-to-be Reggie Bush became most remote. Even with Texans runner Domanick Davis playing at a high level, the Texans would be hard-pressed to by-pass such an explosive playmaker. Ideally, the Jets draft Bush and grab a Signal Caller with their 2nd-4th rounder. Perhaps, if Bush is gone and QB Brady Quinn declares himself eligible... Gang-Green takes the strong-armed collegiate QB.

Philadelphia at St. Louis: If the Ram D wasn't as bad as Houston's... or perhaps even worse, I'd give 'em the benefit of the doubt. However, as stands, the Eags' are receiving solid Wide Receiver play, RB Ryan Moats looks like he's the future feature, and Mike "Aint the" McMahon offers an iota of signal Calling leadership and capability. Look for St. Loo' to go run heavy and feed Steven Jackson the ball upwards of 25 times in an effort to limit the damage young and inexperienced QB Ryan Fitzpatrick can do. WR Torry Holt is a solid #2 WR start... because even if Jack Kemp were still stewarding the Rams... Holt would produce. Still, look for the Eags' to do just enough defensively, and I would expect Kicker David Akers to play a significant role in an Eagle win.

Pittsburgh at Minnesota: The noise in the raucous Minny' Metrodome WILL disrupt the Steelers' ability to play call, check-off, and make on-the-fly adjustments. Further, a bum-thumbed Big Ben's a risky play against a resurgent, ball-hawking Viking secondary. While QB Brad Johnson's been the very defintion of conservative, somehow, some way... Minnesota's been making the plays when needed. Look for WR Koren Robinson to continue his fine play... and he's a decent "Flex" start. RB Michael Bennett has been given his starting job back... but he could surrender the G-Line totes to rook' Ciatrick Faison. Even if he doesn't... Bennett's a marginal start against a fine Pitt' run D. Both S Darren Sharper and CB Antoine Winfield are excellent IDP plays this week, for the Vikes' are sure to force more turnovers. On the other side of the field, RB "Fast" Willie Parker is an excellent start... if you belong to a YARDAGE league. Leagues that place greater emphasis on scoring... eh', not so much. You never know if Bettis will se the bulk of the carries again. Still, Parker's a versatile running threat, and I like his receiving skills against a Minnesota team that can still be beaten through the air. Nevertheless, Home Field advantage will afford Minny a Paul Edinger 3-Point win.

San Diego at Indianapolis: Call me crazy... but I can't shake the thought that Indy's teeny, tiny Secondary will have a hard time containing graceful leviathan TE Antonio Gates, and RB LaDainian Tomlinson will be motivated to whip some Colt butt. Brees had a great game against Indy last year, and is a solid fantasy start based upon past history. Likewise, the 27th (or so) ranked San' Secondary will be hard-pressed to contain a scary deep pool of Colt receivers. On the other hand, a #1 ranked run D will give prolific Colt back Edgerrin James a tough time. Look for average numbers from Edge'... 75/1, with another 25-30 receiving yards. If, by chance, the Colts jump out to a big lead... James is the most likely Colt to come out of the game in an effort to preserve him for the post-season. But, in a shoot-out, the Chargers out-point the Colts by less than a Field Goal and crush the Colts' dreams of undefeatd immortality.

Seattle at Tennessee: Much like the 'Zona / Houston game, my heart and head contradict one another. Seattle's already locked up a Playoff berth and may well be inclined to ease up. The Titan passing game can move the ball up and down the field, and the young D IS improving. Still, with "Alexander the Great" charging after Priest Holmes' single-season TD record of 27 ... and 23 TDs already banked, Shaun-A is a fine start. Also, QB Matt Hasselbeck has been outstanding in recent weeks, and made the most of an injury-thinned receiving stable. Even with an iffy group of receivers... Seattle has reeled off 9 straight wins, and that's indicative of am impressive coaching job. As for the somewhat less than titanic Titans, RB Chris Brown is a "Must Start" with Travis Henry out. But, for a change, Brown is nicked-up... and I'd keep my hopes modest as the Seahawks surrender few rushing scores. The Titan QB Steve McNair is a decent start... but "Air" WILL miss having 100% healthy TEs.

San Francisco at Jacksonville: Jag' QB David Garrard is a dual running and passing threat. Several teams pursued Garrard to be their starter... but Garrard re-signed a cap' friendly, 3 year deal with the Jaguars.... look for one of severla QB-strapped franchises to offer close to a king's ransom for Garrard... IF he plays out the string in impressive fashion. Due to Garrard's unfamiliarity with the playbook, WRs Ernest Wilford and Matt Jones offer minimal fantasy value. RB Greg Jones should poke a buncha' holes through a terrible San Fran' D.

Cincinnati at Detroit: Today's rumor? Former Cowboy and Dolphin guru Jimmy Johnson is being wooed by the team owning Ford family. Should Jimmy leave his lap of luxury South Florida life-style, he'll demand total and comlpete control. That will, of course, be the end of the Matt Millen Error ... sorry, "era." Look, the Lions are toothless and the Bengals will maul 'em in what should be a high-scoring yet boring Cat fight. Start ... like ALL your Bengs', and like... maybe Roy Williams. **NOTE: The loss of RB Chris Perry is significant as his liquid-qwik' elusiveness provided the Cats with a nearly "un-defendable Beng-able." RB Rudi Johnson will have no one of consequence to spell him... yet, coming off of a tremendous game against the Browns... look for yet another outstanding fantasy (and real) effort from the Cin City' Feature Cat.

Cleveland at Oakland: Why do I pick Oakland? I'm not sure... certainly their play doesn't warranr or demand confidence. However, the Browns allowed RB Rudi Johnson to disembowel 'em, and LaMama' Jordan could do a similar number on a dispirited and weak-willed D. Likewise, with QB Kerry Collins back over Center, WR Jerry Porter demands to be played. For Cleveland, RB Boobin' Reuben Droughns is a solid start... and that's about it. Still

Dallas at Washington: This WILL be THE most important game of "Cowboys and Indians" to be played ANYWHERE this week. Coming off of a VERY impressive 3-point win over the Chefs... sorry, "Chiefs" last week... Dallas has proven themselves to be a dangerous opponent. In turn, the 'Skins have played well also and they ripped off a pair of consecutive Ws... against St Louis and Arizona, though. RB Clinton Portis will have a tough day at the office against a solid Dallas run D... and Mark Brunell will, likely, be harried all day long. With Dallas peaking and playing truly motivated Football, in a squeaker... Parcells's 'Pokes out-point Washington.

Atlanta at Chicago: Although Vick and Atlanta don't play well in the cold... the forecast calls for mild temps... and that plays into the Falcs' feathered fingers. Look for a solid day from RB Warrick Dunn... and T.J Duckett will receive any carries from inside the 10's... but with Minnesota breathing down their necks... look for the Bear D to make this win happen. If not for RB Thomas Jones, there would be no cuh thing as a Bear O. Look for the Chi-Town D to make this win happen.

Green Bay at Baltimore: Has Balty' done much to inspire you? Nah', me neither. The Running Backs are at one another's throats, the Quarterback expects the big ol' boot, and the D has "D-isappointed." This could easily be a swan-song for Favre... I truly think the man is mulling retirement. What is there to come back to? Already, there have been some subtle... yet distinct, calls for Aaron Rodgers to get the nod. In dire need of re-building, with the very real possibility that Brett will be forced to learn an entirely new offensive system... something he's NEVER done, Favre COULD retire. Brett ALWAYS plays well on Monday Night... and I'd look for a rock-solid game from Football's most beloved (active) Signal Caller.

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